


Which is Rather Full of Ambassadors, Invisibility, and Roast Beef Sandwiches

by mairelon



Category: JONES Diana Wynne - Works, The Chronicles of Chrestomanci - Diana Wynne Jones
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 13:05:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1094195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mairelon/pseuds/mairelon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chrestomanci Castle hosts its annual Halloween ball, but the guests are running around engaging in intrigue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Which is Rather Full of Ambassadors, Invisibility, and Roast Beef Sandwiches

**Author's Note:**

  * For [liseuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/liseuse/gifts).



The Castle was in a state of organized chaos on Halloween. Chrestomanci Castle was hosting its annual Halloween ball that night, and dignitaries from all over Britain and Europe started arriving in the pentagram that morning. The servants bustled around preparing rooms for the guests, cooking for the state dinner that evening, answering the insistent rings from the guests, setting up the ballroom, and fulfilling the capricious demands of the guests. Mary was in a grumpier mood than usual that morning as she served the children's breakfast. Mr. Saunders canceled the children's lessons in order to help entertain the visiting dignitaries. To top it all off, Chrestomanci disappeared just as he was about to greet the King of Bavaria leaving Millie to soothe the affronted king.

“I didn't know your mother could speak German,” said Janet peering over the bannister as Millie handed the king and his entourage over to the butler and turned back to the pentagram to await the arrival of the next guest.

“Mummy speaks four languages,” said Julia.

“Who's next?” Cat asked disinterestedly. He was getting bored of skulking invisibly around the second-floor landing spying on the guests.

Janet consulted the timetable she had made. “Next we have the ambassador of Florence arriving at 10:47. That is the last arrival until after lunch.”

At 10:47 precisely, the pentagram flashed purple and another group of dignitaries arrived. 

“Baron de Medici,” Millie greeted the ambassador, a rotund, middle-aged man. “Welcome to Chrestomanci Castle.”

“Lady Chant,” said the Baron. “Delightful to see you again.” He kissed Millie's hand with a flourishing bow. 

“I hope you will enjoy tonight's festivities,” said Millie.

“I'm sure I will,” said the Baron. “The Castle is such a beautiful and peaceful place. Such a contrast from London.”

“Let's go play in the tree house until lunch,” Roger suggested as Millie escorted the Baron and his entourage to their rooms. 

Lunch was roast beef sandwiches and milk, served by a downright ferocious Mary. Cat didn't dare tell her he didn't like roast beef. After lunch, Julia and Roger were summoned to visit their grandmother, who had arrived at the Castle the day before for a long stay. Cat and Janet played a game of soldiers in the playroom until the arrival of the Incan emissary from Atlantis. Since the Atlantean guests were the ones he most wanted to see, Cat didn't protest when Janet abandoned the game just as he was winning. 

Cat turned them invisible and they took their places on the second-floor landing. At the bottom of the stairs where she was waiting with Mr. Saunders, Millie turned around and smiled in their direction. This was not the first time that Millie seemed to see right through Cat's invisibility spell. 

A few minutes later, the three Atlantean guests appeared in a flash of purple light in the middle of the pentagram. Cat was disappointed to see that they wore perfectly ordinary suits instead of brightly-patterned tunics and cloaks. Though the suits were perhaps not perfectly ordinary; they seemed to have been made by the same tailor who made Chrestomanci's suits. 

Cat's attention was distracted from the Atlanteans by a whisper of malevolent magic coming down the hallway towards him and Janet. Though he had been studying magic for less than two months, Cat was especially apt at detecting spells. 

“Oof!” exclaimed Janet. “Cat, you just walked right into me.”

“That wasn't me,” said Cat.

The malevolent magic had recoiled from Janet and was hurrying back down the hallway with a rapid click of footsteps. Without another word, Cat followed this other invisible person halfway across the castle and into the library. The only occupant inside the library was one of the guests who had arrived this morning, the Russian ambassador. Cat didn't remember his name. He was studiously reading a book but breathing a little too heavily for such a pastime. 

Cat stayed invisible by the doorway and concentrated on the malevolent spell in the ambassador's left jacket pocket. He couldn't quite figure out what the spell was for, but whatever it was, it would have a very ill effect on the ambassador's victim. Cat wondered what to do. Chrestomanci was called away on business, and Cat didn't want to leave the ambassador alone while he went to get help. He needed a way to make the ambassador stay put. 

Cat stretched out his left hand and turned the Russian ambassador into a roast beef sandwich. Then he turned himself visible. 

“Cat!” Millie and Janet burst into the library. 

“Are you all right?” Millie asked.

“You can't run off like that without a word!” said Janet. 

“What's going on?” Millie asked. 

"Who was the invisible person?" 

"I turned the Russian ambassador into a roast beef sandwich," Cat explained. 

There was a dead silence.

"What did you just do?" asked Janet.

"I turned the Russian ambassador into a roast beef sandwich."

"But why?" said Janet.

"I needed to keep him still," said Cat. "He was going to do something to somebody." When he saw that they still didn't understand, he explained further, "He had this spell in his pocket. It was the most horrible spell I've ever felt."

Millie hugged Cat. "You should have come and got me right away instead of going after him yourself. Now, can you turn him back? I'll immobilize him before he can do anything."

Cat concentrated and turned the sandwich back into a man. An instant later, Millie slapped a stasis spell on the ambassador. She made a plucking motion and the folded spell floated out of his pocket and hovered in front of Millie. Cat shuddered and stepped away from it. Millie studied the spell for a minute before placing it in an evidence bag she conjured up. 

"A rather nasty spell," Millie said. "It's an insanity spell. I think he must have been planning to use it on one of the Atlantean emissaries, Lord Viracocha. It's a good thing you stopped him, Cat."

"But why would he do something like that?" Janet asked.

"Well, Russia has been trying to buy Alyeska from Atlantis but Lord Viracocha convinced the Atlantean Emperor to turn down the offer. But if Lord Viracocha becomes insane, then I think the emperor will probably reconsider his advice."

Julia and Roger entered the library.

"Mummy. We just found the Baron de Medici and his secretary in Daddy's study," said Julia.

"They were rifling through the desk drawers and the filing cabinets," said Roger.

"But we made sure that they didn't take anything with them," said Julia.

Millie sighed. "Ambassadors. You think they would have better manners. Good job both of you."

After that, things became very busy. Millie called a couple of the Family to arrest the Russian ambassador for misuse of magic. The insanity spell was filed away for evidence. Officials from the Foreign Office arrived to take custody of the prisoner.

Later in the afternoon after Chrestomanci had returned, the children were summoned to Chrestomanci's study to make their official statements. 

"Elizabeth's last letter mentioned that there may be a war brewing in the Italian states," Millie was saying as they entered. 

"But there is no sign that anyone in Florence is misusing magic," said Chrestomanci. "Russia is a completely different story. Somebody supplied the ambassador with that insanity spell. I'll try to squeeze in a visit to Italy after I check up on Russia." 

Chrestomanci turned towards the children. "I understand that you have been foiling devious plots left and right today. Congratulations. But I have just one question, Cat. Why a roast beef sandwich?"

Cat shrugged. "I don't like roast beef."


End file.
